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As we all know, breaking up is hard to. For the average person, it's the only time in our lives when we deliberately say something that makes someone else.

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It's awful. It's horrible.

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It's inhuman. So, how do you get round it? How do you slip the noose without causing pain? Wsnt her break up with you.

Shift that responsibility. Unshoulder that you want to be my girlfriend. Turn yourself into the injured party and leave her pride intact.

With a little cunning, you can easily create a case of constructive dismissal. How is that to be achieved? You might think you need to do something really awful to get yourself dumped - cheat on her or break her heart.

Not at all! Don't waste trauma on something that might not work. Women are weird.

Love is stubborn. Broken trust and shattered confidence don't stop a girl loving.

How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend Without Totally Screwing It Up | Todd V Dating

Break her heart and you run the risk that she'll still be there, all the time, but constantly miserable. You don't need that in a girlfriend. You've already got a mother. No, the way to drive her away is simply to irritate. Aim small. Finish the milk without mentioning it. Hog the duvet in the night. Talk with your mouth. Forget to pass on phone messages. These are the things that strangle love in the cradle. You may say: Need to up the ante, to trigger a passive break-up as soon fine girls stripping possible?

Be disgusting. However gender politics wax and wane, women still hate. Farting, burping and blowing your nose on your fingers haven't become attractive just because we're all feminists. Sometimes, you can edge a girl out just by being sufficiently revolting. Why not "furtively" scratch you want to be my girlfriend arse, then tenderly stroke her hair?

She'll never fancy you. You want to be my girlfriend rest will follow naturally. Verbal tics are always useful. Ask her casually, "Do I use the word 'cool' too often? In every sentence. Dozens of times a day. Soon enough, she won't be able to bear another minute in your company. Crowd her. Talk over her, boss her around and refuse to be flexible.

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Be macho, demanding and difficult. As a bonus, you'll get loads of great sex due to your rippling manly ways.

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Then, one day, she'll wake up and run screaming back to her life. When dining with her parents, wait until she's talking, then catch her mother's gaze and roll your eyes. Better still, ask "Was she always like this? If the mum makes a joke at her expense, roar with laughter. In the car home, say: I think we really connect.

Dance with enthusiasm when nobody else is dancing. At dinner parties, gjrlfriend "Come on everyone! Be the first to hit the floor at weddings, pre-empting the bride and groom.

Easy Ways to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend - wikiHow

Insist on starting a conga in the pub. It'll be cute the first time. And then it really won't be.

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You'll be dancing into the horizon. Cry after sex.

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Even better if you can manage it. Have a good old sob.

The first time, she will hold you tight and murmur loving words. The second time, she'll ask nervously, "Are you all right?

The third time, you'll wake up you want to be my girlfriend find her packing. Be stingy. It's an astonishingly effective tack for making yourself unattractive. Of course, if you're short of money then this won't work; you'd simply be showing a sensible approach to finances. Undercut this by purchasing yourself expensive designer clothes and a lot of computer games. Whatever you do, don't listen to.

You want to be my girlfriend she's talking about something important, simply tune. Respond inappropriately to show you're not paying attention: On the phone, make sure to tap audibly at an email while she's speaking.

Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend - The perfect list of questions to ask

Face to face, don't be afraid to actually wander out of the room in the middle of a conversation, as though you assume she's you want to be my girlfriend. If she's tearful, be sympathetic - while older mature wife checking your iPhone for football scores.

This behaviour will soon drive her into the arms of a kinder and girlfridnd attentive man, whom she doesn't fancy as much as you but likes better. If you think you girlfriebd drive a woman away by being nasty to her friends, guess. She hates her friends. The ruder you are to them, the more she'll adore you.

As for making bitchy remarks about them on the way home, you may as well engrave your name on her heart in gold.

8 Sneaky Relationship Mistakes That Make Your Girlfriend Leave You

girlfriejd Instead, take the opposite tack. Bond excessively with the friends. Take their numbers. Send them funny emails. If she's away for the weekend, hang out with them and watch DVDs. Ring them "just to say hi".

She'll tell you how delighted she is that you all get on. Then she'll dump you and tell the friends they must never speak to you.

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On social occasions with people she knows less well, be a bore. I don't mean be quiet: No, speak up as often and extensively as possible.

Tell dull anecdotes, recount stories about people whom nobody has met. You want to be my girlfriend hold the floor. She will soon realize that you are social thick ebony midget. You must also you want to be my girlfriend care to be a tremendous bore when the two of you are.

The key to this is voicing opinions that everybody holds, but as though your insight is new and special. Find long-winded ways of saying that the Lib Dems have sold out, the weather's always bad on bank holidays or the world's too dependent on technology.

Don't just mention these ideas in passing, really spell them out, ideally while she's watching a favourite TV programme or reading a book.